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Saturday, 14 March 2015

11 Problems Women With Big Breasts Have With The Second Shirt Button



Ladies with significant busts will have to agree,
there is nothing more frustrating than your daily
negotiations with this seemingly insignificant piece
of plastic and thread.
1. There will always be a gap where the fabric
stretches, giving a perfect side view of your bra.
Sitting next to you must be a sport. Attempting to
avoid displaying the tops of your br**sts is a
struggle you can’t often win, but you and your
shirt compromise with a clear side-eye view to
your bra.
So long as you greet everyone head on, it isn’t a
problem; however, unfortunately, we’re not entirely
2-D and your bras filter their way into everyday,
water-cooler conversation.
2. You unbutton it because it looks awkward, and
then you just have a mess of cleavage.
For the more brazen women who find the side-eye
pocket more awkward than full-on cleavage, good
luck keeping anyone’s eyes up here, mister (or
miss, if we’re being honest.)
Sure, showing off your pneumatic assets might be
your prerogative on a Friday evening, but even you
catch yourself staring on a dreary Monday
morning.
3. You’re forced to buy a larger size to
accommodate your lady lumps, and then you swim
in it all day.
So you start thinking ahead — trawling the stores
for mediums, larges and extra-larges in an attempt
to avoid the dreaded problem altogether. Youru
quest seems successful: Your b**bs rest safely
under cloth with no extraneous eyes on them.
The minor problem of the shirt not fitting anywhere
else persists, though — and either you’re
swimming in fabric or constantly adjusting and
readjusting so you don’t look like you’re dressed
in your boyfriend’s best morning-after garb.
4. You spend most of your day adjusting your
shirt so you don’t offer up your girls on a silver
platter.
You duck into the bathroom to re-tuck. You hold
your shoulders a certain way so the button strip
temporarily covers the sneak peek. You pull it up,
you tug it down, you throw on a sweater —
anything to keep the knockers in check.
You spend half your workday wishing you wore
something else and the other half talking about it.
Your coworkers reciprocate with “I’M SO SORRY
YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL, BIG br**sts” — and, yet
again, no one understands your struggle.
5. At any given moment, your shirt can burst open
and you might not notice… for hours.
There’s nothing better than the moment you look
down to realize your shirt is wide open with little-
to-no understanding of when it happened. Was it
five minutes or five hours ago?! Was it while you
were deep in conversation with your bestie or your
boss?
And, most importantly, did it happen when you
were talking to your crush from accounting?
(Jury’s out if you want that to be yay or nay.)
6. You get wrinkles from where the shirt strains to
keep you in.
You already understand how to work an iron; hell,
if you’re like me, you use your flat iron (or shower
steam, depending on just how lazy I’m feeling).
So the awkward wrinkles of a shirt strained on
your b**bs isn’t making your last-minute-sh*t-I-
don’t-have-anything-to-wear realization any
easier.
7. You automatically look like you’re just doing a
slutty version of sophisticated.
It’s just like Halloween: It doesn’t matter if you’re
trying to look presentable, your cleavage just
makes you look like a “Slutty [insert respectable
profession here].”
It’s not your fault anything form-fitting
automatically takes a turn for the s*xual the
second you put your curves into it. Business
clothes just make you look like a stripper (and
sometimes you’re OK with that).
8. You’re forced to wear an undershirt, even in 90-
degree weather.
As if the inconsistent temperature in your office
isn’t already a consistent problem, throwing
another layer into the mix is just about as fun as a
wedding with a cash bar.
Bundling your bosom isn’t ideal in any weather;
it’s just nice to let the ladies breathe.
9. You can’t get excited about anything because
moving your arms is a no-go.
You’re the Aubrey Plaza of the office just because
any bit of excitement, or tiny movement, in general,
will have your shirt split in half.
No news is good news when you’re trying to keep
your clothes on at 9 am.
10. Your button has popped off more times than a
“Real Housewives” episode.
You’ve got a ton of shirts with off-colored buttons
from botched sewing jobs. Your pockets are lined
with lost-shirt fasteners you promised yourself
you’d re-attach.
You’ve launched buttons across tables and rooms
with a-tad-too-enthusiastic stretching. Somehow
the second button not existing doesn’t solve the
eternal struggle, either.
11. No matter what, at the end of the day, you look
like The Hulk.
You might not be green, but the end of any given
workday leaves you stressed and semi-disrobed,
breathing heavily with your buttons undone.
Hey, there are worse comparisons to be made —
you’re brilliant and strong and, of course —
occasionally, you black out.
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