A carpenter that came to work for me recently was going on and on about how his younger sister has helped the family so much-economically. After a while, he became downcast and I asked what the problem was, he told me that it depresses him that the sister hasn’t brought a man to show them. As far as he is concerned, that lady is a nobody, for as long as she hasn’t become a ‘Mrs.’ All her hard work and efforts- at uplifting the family economically are all a waste…until she finds some man(even if he is the type that will be hitting her every day) to marry her. It is truly a sorry mindset.
A good friend captured it aptly when he said, “What has gone wrong is that our society is putting too much pressure on our womenfolk to get married and become ‘respectable’- so they fall for sloths ,only a few have liberated themselves from such shackles and are not ashamed to be single. I think more needs to be done in changing the thinking that a woman’s real worth is only in marriage. That way, some ladies would begin to look deeper into who they get involved with. These days, women enter into relationships with men who aren’t worth being called men; you get a woman’s head spinning simply by promising marriage. Most single ladies don’t enter into relationships here for the sake of it, they will begin to act ‘wife’ from the word go and that doesn’t go well with some men- especially those that are not ready. Some men also know that the easiest way to get some ladies is to posture as potential hubby .I still maintain that when women begin to think less of marriage as the measure of their worth (as human beings), the better for them.”
It is emotionally healthy to be involved with a worthy companion but it is myopic for a society to carry on as if a woman’s worth is determined by her marital status. As delightful as marriage seems, it doesn’t really define anybody. And a married lady is not necessarily happier than her single counterparts. There are so many supposedly married ladies who still peep out for fulfillment (not necessarily sexual…could be some sort of emotional upliftment). Let whoever that wishes to be married do so because she has found a worthy companion, not because she feels she has to be a ‘Mrs.’- to be regarded as a ‘somebody.’ I am not here to discourage anybody but it is high time we learned to put things in their proper perspective.
No lady should be made to believe she is worth nothing and that her life should stand still…until she becomes a ‘Mrs.’ The reason marriages are crumbling so fast is because of the desperation that drives people (especially ladies) into it, they do anything to get in there, only to realise (sometimes late) that marriage is just a phase of life…life itself continues!
Marriage is delightful but it is wrong to measure a woman’s worth by it. Our society does not look at an unmarried man as unkindly as it looks at an unmarried lady…most ladies do not have the emotional capability to withstand this kind of emotional pressure, so they settle for any ‘third leg’ that breezes into their lives…even the pathetic ones and the number of ‘bad marriages’ remain on the increase.
Whoever has a girl child should teach her to (first and foremost) find completeness in herself, so that if a complete man comes her way, they will grow together. Otherwise, she is better off-being alone!
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