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Saturday, 8 August 2015

We Are The World By African Stars Is The Worst Vocal Combination Ever - Etcetera

you think the song has got the swag? well this man thinks otherwise,he wrote this on his iñstagràm page

Well, I think I’m finally safe to write this article,
since I’ve set up my e-mail software to
automatically filter out any messages containing
swear words.

Sincerely, I don’t know if there’s any song that
made me change the TV station faster than this
one. If I didn’t, I’d have been doomed to have a
group of adults with hideous and unsync voices
chanting, “ we are the children” over and over in
my head for the next six months.

And that certainly isn’t all that’s wrong with the
song. Michael Jackson would probably be spitting
and cursing in his grave right now, like a pregnant
woman with whitlow on her ten fingers and toes.
What the heck were they thinking changing his
beautifully composed piece of art to the most
insipid crap ever written?

I’m going to tell you this for free; don’t listen to
We Are The World by African all stars unless
you’re trying to get a bone out of your throat. That
is only when the song would be useful.

We know that African music isn’t made up of the
best singers anymore, but honestly, how did they
think that they could fill up a seven-minute song
with nothing but monotonous chanting of the same
feeble chorus over and over again?

The humorous highlight of the song is Kcee’s
ridiculous line“There’s a choice we making, we
saving our own lives.” Never has the word (saving
our own lives) meant so opposite. And the only
choice that could have been made by the
organisers was not to have included Kcee in the
song. He was even off key for Christ sake. Kcee,
your hilarious accent is to be commended.

Luckily I could warn the rest of you who haven’t
listened. Kcee is the first reason this is the most
repulsive rendition of this song ever.

There were other worse vocals like Sean Tizzle’s,
but Tiwa Savage sounded like a two- year- old
being dragged out of a toy store. She should know
when to keep the vibrato off her voice. And For a
minute I thought Banky W was going to faint.
Whoever chose the key to this song should have
been reminded that most Nigerian singers are all
about auto-tune and can’t hold their notes.

Jesus Christ, what is happening to music? This is
easily the worst combination of voices in human
history. Only the most despicable revisionist
historian could possibly claim that this song is
anything close to good. It’s nothing more than a
hideous irritation festival from the individual who
sold the idea to the sponsors.

While writing this article, someone suggested that
maybe vocals wasn’t the criterion for selecting the
artistes. REALLY? Are you kidding me? Then they
should have gone for the kill. Artquake should
have been in there somewhere, Or perhaps even
Daddy Showkey. A number of you are probably
thinking “hey, come on, I kinda like that song.” Of
course, every lover of today’s Nigerian music will
surely like the song. This is the musical equivalent
of Agege bread: it’s meant to be packed with so
much artificial crap that it’s bound to appeal in
some way to Nigerians.

No matter how musically credible you are, no
matter how much cutting-edge indigenous songs
you listen to, whether you snore in baritone in
your sleep or not, this song is a shame. It is the
kind of rendition that makes today’s Nigerian
music uncool. If you have listened to it, the fact
that the singers were trying too hard to sound like
the original version should have made you turn off
your TV in disgust. If you haven’t, download it
right now. I dare you to try to make it through the
first 10 seconds. It is the ultimate endurance test.
If you’d care to suggest another song for me to
review, you can always feel free to do so by e-
mailing me at mail@etceteralive.com. If you’re the
guy who e-mailed me about being a Wizkid fan,
for the love of God, get some help.
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